PutingSinungaling

As I've said in my previous journal, I have been feeling weird things inside my body lately. And yeah, I must admit that I am being bothered by it. My chest hurts; my muscles seems like torn; my eyes were always strained; my back is always hurting like hell. I couldn't imagine anything worse than this in the future.

I am so afraid that I might lose my dreams because of what I am feeling now but I am much afraid to know what causes the weird feelings that I am feeling. Oh, God. Help me.

I want to continue living for my father. He's been very dear to me despite of the fact that we are not living together. I want to make him happy because my older brother disappointed him so much. I want to finish my studies. I want to be a good daughter -- I want to see a big smile on his face.

My heart beats this fast not because of love. It beats this fast because I am worried and scared. If you're reading this journal of mine, kindly include me in your prayers. I'd appreciate it a lot. Thank you.

,
Melisa Cruz

Lately I have found myself spending most of my time sleeping soundly. It causes my head to ache, that's a fact. But I can do nothing but to sleep and sleep because I have discovered sleeping as my own remedy -- my sweet escape.

I can be whatever I want to be while I am sleeping.
I can do whatever I want when I am sleeping.
I am my own master when I am sleeping.
I am the best of me when I am sleeping.



But you know what I loved the most when I am sleeping? I know that when I wake up tomorrow, all my frustrations and sadness will be gone because I have satisfied myself by drowning to my own mysteries and dreams -- which I can only do when I am sleeping.

,
Melisa Cruz